


don't even try to hold it back

by transjackianto



Series: Broken (Torchwood) Codas [2]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Audio 011: Broken (Torchwood), Canon Bisexual Character, First Time, Frottage, Ftm Ianto Jones, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort Through Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, Internalised Transphobia (if you squint), M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Audio 011: Broken, Smut, Spoilers for Audio 011: Broken, Trans Ianto Jones, Trans Male Author, Trans Male Character, mlm author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:35:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23598457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transjackianto/pseuds/transjackianto
Summary: Post-Audio 011: Broken (Big Finish: Torchwood), Pre-1x08: They Keep Kiling SuzieJack and Ianto's first time together.(This is my second coda, the first one was their talk in the car, this is the sex... it's my first time writing smut lol, be kind)
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Series: Broken (Torchwood) Codas [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1698613
Comments: 6
Kudos: 76





	don't even try to hold it back

**Author's Note:**

> i am so glad that big finish finally gave us the story on how jack and ianto went from hating each other in 1x04 to ianto propositioning jack in 1x08.
> 
> if you haven't listened to it, this will not make much sense.
> 
> you could probably read my other story to understand the back story more but you still might be a bit confused.
> 
> this is my first time writing smut, so be kind, please lol 
> 
> title taken from the song "flesh" by simon curtis.

The rest of the journey from The Ferret to Ianto's flat was completed in silence.

Not that Ianto couldn't think of anything to say. His mind was racing. There were so many things he could have said. Should they be doing this? Ianto had never had a one-night stand before, certainly not with someone he knew. 

They finally pulled up outside of Ianto's flat. He got out of the car, closed the door softly behind him and walked up to the door. He heard another car door shut behind him. He assumed Jack was following him. Ianto put his key in the outer door and turned it. He pushed the door open and held it open behind him, still not looking back, but he could feel the presence of Jack behind him. Their walk up the stairs, along the corridor to Ianto's flat was, again, in silence. 

It wasn't until they had walked through the door, into the kitchen and Ianto sticking the kettle on, did he turn to face Jack. The older man was leaning against the door frame, one leg crossed in front of the other. He had taken his shoes off, Ianto noted idly. 

"Would you like a cuppa, sir? It's a bit late for coffee," he asked softly.

Jack shook his head. "No, but I could do with a glass of water."

Ianto nodded, turned to grab a glass from his cupboard before pouring a glass of water from the tap. He turned towards Jack and held out the glass to him. Jack's hand brushed against his own as he took it.

Ianto looked up into Jack's eyes. He could definitely get lost in those eyes. Such a pretty colour. Ianto wondered what sort of stories were hidden behind those eyes. Sometimes he caught Jack staring into the distance with a faraway look. Sometimes they looked haunted.

_Ianto, we're all broken. Every single person on this planet is broken. We're all just dealing with it._

He turned away and poured himself a drink, grabbing the milk from the fridge and putting a splash in. He put the milk away before wrapping both palms around the mug. He breathed in the aroma. Sometimes he needed one of these.

"Is what Mandy said true?" Jack's tone was soft, almost cautious.

Ianto looked up. Jack had moved closer towards him and was now within reach. He was leaning against the side counter next to Ianto. Ianto caught Jack's gaze. The older man's gaze was roaming his face. "Hmm?"

Jack sucked in a breath. "Did you really try to kill yourself after the Beacons?"

Ianto's gaze dropped to somewhere around Jack's collar. He looked ruffled. Well, he was being tortured on that alien planet.

"Ianto?" There was a sound of glass hitting a counter. He almost jumped out of his skin when he felt calloused fingers under his chin lifting his head. 

Ianto reluctantly looked into Jack's eyes. Jack looked frightened. He probably should have answered him quicker if he wanted to deny this. "Yeah. I failed, obviously." He huffed a laugh. It wouldn't be the first time. Or the second. Or the third...

Jack clenched his jaw, tightly, his lips turning down at the corners. "Why didn't you say anything?"

He hadn't raised his voice.

Ianto didn't know why he expected him to raise his voice.

He shrugged. "Wouldn't be the first time," he mumbled. His voice grew stronger. "I'm fine now. It was just a moment of weakness."

Jack's hand moved to cup his cheek. "It's not a weakness. I'm concerned, Ianto. You're my friend. I'm here for you."

There were those words again. They sent a thrill through him.

Ianto gave Jack a small smile. "I know. Just, make me forget, sir." His tone became pleading. "Please."

Jack shook his head, a smile on his lips. Ianto could see that his eyes seemed sad, though. He wondered what was hidden in those depths.

Ianto snaked his arms around Jack's waist and pulled him closer. Their breaths were mingling now. Jack still looked concerned but Ianto could see the desire there, too. Good. He hadn't completely ruined the mood, then.

Jack closed the distance between them, gently pulling Ianto's face closer with the hand that was still on his face.

Their lips touched.

Ianto didn't believe in all that fireworks bollocks, but the kiss did ignite a fire in his belly. It was probably just his desire.

Their lips moved against each other's, slowly becoming quicker and more passionate, the more they continued. 

One of Ianto's hands ended up on Jack's arse, pulling their lower bodies closer. He could feel Jack becoming slowly aroused. At least, that's what he thought it was. That was new.

His other hand ended up in Jack's hair, sliding through the shorter hair at the back of his head. God, he loved that feeling.

A groan came from Jack's lips as he pulled away from Ianto. "Should we take this somewhere more comfortable?"

Ianto nodded. Jack looked delectable with his red lips. He grabbed Jack's hand and pulled him out of the kitchen, towards his bedroom. His thoughts felt a bit fuzzy from Jack's heavenly smell. If someone ever bottled that, the world would definitely end, he thought, smiling. 

They came to a stop inside Ianto's bedroom. It was a small room that was mostly taken up with a large double bed, but it was neat and tidy. A wardrobe door stood slightly ajar with a suit jacket poking through the gap. He should really sort that. 

Ianto let go of Jack's hand and moved behind the Captain to gently slide the greatcoat off of the older man's shoulders. It was a familiar routine of theirs but never had it been done before with such anticipation. He felt Jack's shoulders dip as he pulled it off, before quickly turning to grab a hanger. He threaded the coat onto the hanger and hung it on the back of his bedroom door. 

Hands touched his shoulders pulling him back against a warm solid body. "You're not going to be that fastidious with the rest of out clothes, are you, Ianto?" The voice was deep, warm and it sounded like Jack was trying not to laugh.

Ianto turned around quickly and raised an eyebrow at the man in front of him. "Of course not." He shrugged Jack's hand off his shoulders and let his suit jacket fall off them and onto the floor. "The coat deserves respect and no one likes wrinkles."

Jack's smile grew, a soft chuckle falling from his lips. "Hmm, you have always admired the coat," he mused teasingly.

Ianto rolled his eyes, as he brought his hands up to undo his tie. "Quite," he quipped. "Is there a reason you're not undressing, sir?"

Jack walked back a few paces before sitting on the end of the bed. He leant back on his hands. "Maybe, I was just admiring the view."

The younger man let the tie fall from his hands and began to undo the belt in his trousers. "I'm not doing a strip tease."

Jack's lower lip stuck out as he gazed up at Ianto. "You're no fun."

Ianto unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers, and stepped out of them as dignified as he could. Jack's gaze felt like it was heating up his skin. Maybe that was just Ianto's nerves. Or arousal. Or both.

Stripped down to only his shirt and underwear, Ianto walked forward until he was stood in between Jack's legs. He gently pulled Jack's braces off of his shoulders. "I'm plenty of fun, sir."

Jack stared up at the younger man, a small smile on his lips.

Ianto wondered what he was thinking.

Jack's hands joined his own in disrobing Jack until he was just down to his underwear.

Ianto could see the outline of Jack's cock through his underwear. He couldn't stop staring.

"Are you okay?" The older man's voice sounded concerned.

Ianto looked up and caught Jack's eyes, huffing a laugh. "Yeah, I've just, er... never been with someone with a dick before."

Jack's eyes widened a little. "Really?" He looked like he was trying to hide a smile. "Haven't scared you off, have I?"

Ianto shook his head. "No." He bit his lip, bringing up a hand to run through his own hair self-consciously.

"Good," he replied, before pulling Ianto closer until he was straddling him on the bed. "I've wanted to get you into bed for a long while now, Mr Jones."

Ianto huffed a laugh. "Likewise, Captain." He leant down and brought their lips together again, snaking his arms around Jack's shoulders.

Ever since Ianto had hit puberty, he had always been firmly into women. It had made sense. Sometimes he had thought that he had also been into men, but as he grew towards the end of his teen years, he had just assumed that it was him admiring men and wanting to be them. Sure, some men, he could say that they were good-looking, but everyone could say that, right? There were some guys at TW1 who had turned Ianto's head, and looking back on it, maybe he had found them attractive in a sexual way, but... Jack. He had been attracted to Jack since the first night they had met. Then, there was that night in the warehouse when they caught Myfanwy. Having Jack's body below him as their adrenaline wore off was something. He had been breathless. He had wanted to close the gap between them. Ianto had seen Jack lift his chin up as if he were going to kiss him. He couldn't do that to Lisa. Lisa had needed him. So, he had pulled away. He couldn't chase after the Captain any longer. Not at that cost. Then, Jack had offered him a job. Here they were.

Ianto felt himself being rolled onto his back with Jack hovering over him. He ran his hands along the firm muscles in Jack's back. Jack dropped down even further bringing their crotches closer together. He felt something poking into his thigh and resisted the urge to jump. It didn't frighten him, it was still a new sensation, that was all. 

Jack pulled away from the kiss and tilted his head. "Are you sure you're into this?"

Ianto chuckled, reaching his hand up to run his fingers through Jack's hair. "Of course I am."

Jack bit his lip and glanced down between them. "You just don't seem to be into it."

Ianto's mouth fell open before he had to stifle giggles. "Oh! No, that's just my packer. One second..." He undid the buttons on his shirt quickly, before reaching into his underwear and pulled out his packer. He chucked it off to the side of the bed, hearing a dull thud. "I'm very into this." Ianto quickly shucked his shirt from his shoulders before turning back to the older man. 

Jack was staring at him, his eyebrows furrowed. He looked between Ianto's crotch, the area of flooring where Ianto assumed his packer fell and Ianto's face.

Ianto was becoming a bit worried. Jack knew, right? It was in his file. It was in his medical file...

Jack's brow softened, a look of dawning comprehension on his face. "Well, that makes more sense. I was worried I had lost my touch for a second there." He chuckled as he leant down, moving towards Ianto's lips.

Ianto moved a hand around and held it gently towards Jack's chest, stopping him. "Wait, you didn't know?"

Jack shook his head softly. "About this?" His hand gestured up and down Ianto's body. "No."

Ianto leant back further into the pillow. "You don't care?"

Jack's face became serious, as he reached up to place a hand on Ianto's face. "Ianto, I could honestly care less what was in somebody's pants. If you're into me and you want to do things with me, then we are a-okay. The only thing that would ever concern me is people's do's and don'ts. If I do something that you don't like, tell me."

Ianto nodded. "Okay." His breath left him on a heavy sigh before he smiled up at him.

Jack smiled back. "So, when you said earlier that you hadn't been with anyone with a dick before..."

Ianto bit his lip, his cheeks turning a bit pink. "I've never even seen one in real life."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Okay." He leant down and captured Ianto's lips in a kiss again, his hand roaming along Ianto's side, skimming over the soft skin of a scar there. He reached down further and ran his fingers along Ianto's underwear. "Is this okay?" He murmured into the kiss.

Ianto whispered his affirmation, before running a hand down Jack's back and into the back of his underwear. His first touch on that muscly arse would be one thing Ianto would remember for awhile. It was a bit weird that Jack was so hairless there. Ianto had more body hair than him.

Jack slid a hand inside Ianto's underwear, brushing his hands along the neatly trimmed hairy skin there. "Is there anything you're not okay with?"

Ianto shook his head before pulling Jack in for a kiss, his legs falling open.

Jack's hand moved further down before finding Ianto's cock and brushed his fingers against it.

Ianto gasped loudly into his mouth, his hand clenching in Jack's hair. Jack's fingers felt huge. And dry. And calloused. It was a strange sensation. He pulled Jack closer, his mouth falling open.

Jack's hand dipped further down, gathering some lubricant, wetting his fingers before moving back up to Ianto's cock. God, he must be really turned on right now if Jack didn't need the lube that was on Ianto's bedside table, he thought, trying not to laugh.

The older man began to lightly move his hand, brushing the head, every so often on his strokes.

Ianto felt like he was in heaven. The smell of the older man surrounding him was intoxicating. He moved his hand from Jack's backside around to his front. Ianto's hand bumped against Jack's cock. It was strange. A good strange but strange. It was like touching his own but so much bigger. He encircled his fist around Jack's cock, just lightly holding it, trying to get used to the feeling. 

Jack groaned into his mouth and thrust into his fist.

That was a good sign. Ianto pulled his other hand out of Jack's underwear and fumbled on the nightstand for the lube he had. He quickly pumped it into his fist before shoving his hand back into his pants. There was nothing worse than a dry wank. The chafing, he thought, trying not to shudder. He gripped Jack's cock again and started moving his hand up and down. He really only had porn to go off of, so he hoped that he was doing things right.

Ianto pulled Jack's face as close to his own. He licked into Jack's mouth and couldn't help but giggle when his own touched Jack's. That was really weird. He felt Jack smile against his lips, and before he could say anything. Ianto sucked Jack's lower lip into his mouth and gently nibbled on it. Jack moaned softly into his mouth.

Ianto could feel a heat building in his groin and knew he wasn't far off his orgasm. It was definitely a mixture of Jack's talented hands that seemed to know how to rub him, Jack's dizzying smell and Jack's kiss. Oh, Jack's kiss. Ianto groaned loudly as Jack moved his fingers to his entrance and lightly pushed one inside, his thumb still rubbing Ianto's cock. His hand tightened on Jack's cock and started to move faster, his thumb swiping along the head and gathering the wetness there. 

Jack pulled his mouth away from Ianto's and buried his face into the juncture between Ianto's neck and shoulder. He bit hard onto the skin there and lightly sucked. 

"Fuck!" Ianto exclaimed, the grip in Jack's hair tightening even further. Jack moaned himself, but didn't pull Ianto's hand away. Okay, maybe he liked hair pulling. Good to know.

Ianto planted his feet on the bed and felt his legs start to shake as the tight feeling in his groin grew. He moved his hand faster on Jack's cock, running along the vein that ran along the underside. He tried to hold on as his orgasm grew nearer, determined to get Jack off before he did. 

Jack redoubled his efforts, rubbing his cock faster, moving away from Ianto's neck. Before Ianto knew what was happening, Jack had pulled Ianto's underwear off, pushed Ianto's legs further apart and sucked Ianto's cock into his mouth. 

Ianto let out a shout, his hand pulled out of Jack's underwear roughly as Jack moved away.

Jack flicked his tongue and sucked on Ianto's cock for all his worth, Ianto's legs shaking and tightening around his head.

"Jack!" He shouted as he came his cock throbbing in Jack's mouth.

Ianto heaved in deep breaths, before pulling Jack away from his cock and up towards his face. He grabbed Jack's hair and pulled him in for a hard kiss. He didn't care that he could taste himself on Jack's mouth and smell himself on Jack's face. He wanted to devour Jack. He wanted Jack to devour him.

Jack's cock was rubbing against Ianto's thigh as they kissed. 

Ianto grabbed Jack's shoulders and pushed him onto his back. He stared down into Jack's eyes that were filled with desire, lust and affection. "Your turn," his voice was deep and gravelly. He grinned at Jack before wrenching off Jack's underwear. He leant down until he was in line with Jack's cock. He loved going down on the people that he slept with. It was one of his favourite things to do. The way that he could just get them off by his mouth alone. The way they would clench their thighs around his neck and head as they came. This couldn't be much different, right?

Ianto dipped his head down and gently took the head into his mouth. This wasn't much different. It was just a lot bigger than he was used to. He could do this. He gripped the bottom of Jack's cock with his hand and sucked Jack's cock further into his mouth. What he couldn't fit in his mouth, he used his hand on, firmly moving his hand up and down. If the noises that were coming out of Jack's mouth were any indication, Jack was definitely enjoying it. He moved his head in time with his fist before moving up to gently tongue at the head, feeling Jack's thighs starting to come up and grip his neck. He re-doubled his efforts, moving his hand faster, and going between moving his head up and down and flicking his tongue into the slit. Ianto brought up his spare hand, gently cupping Jack's balls.

"Ianto!" Jack cried, gripping Ianto's neck tighter with his thighs, a hand coming down to grip at his hair. He moaned softly at the feeling, his eyes slipping closed. Jack's hand gripped Ianto's hair tighter. Ianto groaned louder, and all sensations combined to send Jack over the edge.

The feeling of someone coming down his throat was definitely a new one. Ianto had to stop himself from gagging, and swallowed as quickly as he could, gently pumping Jack's cock until he stopped coming. 

Ianto unwrapped Jack's thighs from his neck and dragged himself lazily up to collapse next to Jack. They were both panting softly.

"That was amazing," Ianto breathed, his head turning to look at Jack beside him.

Jack looked towards him, a smile on his face. "It definitely was," he drawled.

Ianto breathed out heavily, his hand coming up to brush through his hair. "It's a shame we only have tonight."

Jack chuckled, raising an eyebrow at him. "We better make the most of it, then."

Ianto rolled onto his side, a smile lifting the corner of his mouth. "I suppose," he surmised.

Jack copied him and rolled onto his side, too. "Like, right now?"

Ianto burst out laughing. "You can get it up that quickly?"

Jack grinned at him, his cheeky-flirty smile that Ianto had seen one too many times. "Quick refactory period."

Ianto moved closer towards him on the bed and gripped the side of Jack's neck. "I suppose it's lucky that I'm young and can have multiple orgasms in a row, then."

Jack leant forward his lips centimetres away from Ianto's. "I suppose it is," he murmured before capturing Ianto's lips again in a soft kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> i'm over on twitter @transjackianto


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